She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
