No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
