there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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