I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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