How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
