When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
