Screwed.edu
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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