Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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