just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
