You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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