I am in a vortex of obligation.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
