they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
