just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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