He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize