Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
