needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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