He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
