I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
