ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
