I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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