haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize