You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
