fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Sorry about my life...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
