i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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