it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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