he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
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The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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