Plan B is the new Plan A
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
