Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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