wakey wakey hands off snakey
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize