I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
