ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
