is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I need to stop coming to work sober
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
