I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize