He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
