If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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