This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
