I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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