oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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