I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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