i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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