Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize