we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
