using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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