smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
