wat bout pragnant strippers??
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
This is classic penis vs brain.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
