Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
