I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
