Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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