She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
