My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
