Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
