Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
