someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
