we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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