Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Randomize
