i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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