Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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