i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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