whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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