Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whose ass print is on the piano?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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