Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
