the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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